this morning dawned full of possibilities clouded by expectations. I gave up dinner, I didn't snack past 5pm! I resolutely ellipticized till my feet were tingly after a powerful, intense yoga practice. I made spicy pasta for Mr. DooferHoofer and didn't even nibble during prep! Surely my perseverence has paid off, no?
No.
Really? No?
Ummm, no.
Blimey! You've got to be kidding me!
Yeah, still no. Negatory. Nil. Uh-uh. Nope. Nada mucho, chica. Back at it.
*SIGH*
(which does no good as my inside voice of realism is not at all affected by irritated sighs, not to mention guilt, whining, moodiness, plea bargaining, or bribery)
160.5--Almost as teasingly non-sub-160 as you can get. So FINE then. I can take it. It's not just Tuesday. It's April Fool's Day. Maybe this is my body's way of punking my psyche.
Grr.
So new mission, should I choose to accept it (and I always do): Make it to 158 by the end of the week (Sunday morning weigh-in). Can she do it? (I'm stifling that inner voice right now--realism is kind of a bitch sometimes). And anyway, YES I CAN!
About Me
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
Forgive me blogger, for i have sinned
It's been two weeks since my last post.
Frustration. Desire. Anguish. Longing. Blogger, I do believe I have looked upon baked goods with lust in my heart. Or at least in my taste buds.
I realize the weight of my commitment to abstain from wheaty goodness, and to the extent of my power, I have kept that word. I say "get behind me, cookie" where once I would have stuffed the other cheek. Still I cannot help but feel that perhaps I am being punished for my persistent (though waning) foodielust... why else would I still be in a plateau? Oh the wrongs of this cruel world.
As penance for my woeful ways, I vow to repeat to myself 100 times "it's just food. it's not love."
And should there be a kindness, however so undeserved, perhaps tomorrow, the day of the fool, I shall arise to have met my sub-160 goal. And now I commence to fast.
Frustration. Desire. Anguish. Longing. Blogger, I do believe I have looked upon baked goods with lust in my heart. Or at least in my taste buds.
I realize the weight of my commitment to abstain from wheaty goodness, and to the extent of my power, I have kept that word. I say "get behind me, cookie" where once I would have stuffed the other cheek. Still I cannot help but feel that perhaps I am being punished for my persistent (though waning) foodielust... why else would I still be in a plateau? Oh the wrongs of this cruel world.
As penance for my woeful ways, I vow to repeat to myself 100 times "it's just food. it's not love."
And should there be a kindness, however so undeserved, perhaps tomorrow, the day of the fool, I shall arise to have met my sub-160 goal. And now I commence to fast.
Monday, March 17, 2008
so far, a wheat free day!
I'm giving it a shot--newfound determination to be healthy and aware of what goes into my body. Right now it's optimum zen oatmeal and HOT DAMN it's good. *siiiiiiiiiiigh* luxuriously delicious. And all the more so as I'm tempted by the huge plate of strawberries sitting there next to it (well, the plate is huge, and the strawberries... some of them are indeed of gigantic proportions, but there isn't an exorbitant amount of them or anything)
this morning I had a swig of pomegranate acai juice and some raisins, a banana, (a sliver of teahouse scone that probably DID have wheat in it, despite what miss andrea says, so I may have to go back on that whole wheat-free day thing), some strawberry yogurt, and a couple of wheat-free, fat-free, sugar-free, taste-FULL raspberry fig bars. Mmm :)
That's all for now, other than feeling fabulous, wanting to snuggle into warm quilts and read books, the usual. Alas, work, but fun work, and also, strawberries! Yar!
this morning I had a swig of pomegranate acai juice and some raisins, a banana, (a sliver of teahouse scone that probably DID have wheat in it, despite what miss andrea says, so I may have to go back on that whole wheat-free day thing), some strawberry yogurt, and a couple of wheat-free, fat-free, sugar-free, taste-FULL raspberry fig bars. Mmm :)
That's all for now, other than feeling fabulous, wanting to snuggle into warm quilts and read books, the usual. Alas, work, but fun work, and also, strawberries! Yar!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
I suck. I rule. I'm nobody's fool.
Yeah so like um it's been one of those weeks... totally slam-o-rama with work and more work and after work workout and hectic frenzy whatever I'm just a lazyass and I can't excuse it. Poo.
So last week (in writing, not in calendar) was the success of short term goals... very cool, and I set another one for last week. This time it was activity-related: run every day this week. And I did (well once or twice I ellipticized, but there was running, both inside and out), culminating in this morning's St. Patty's Day Dash (3.5 miles through downtown Seattle, post-rain, sun just coming out, very chilly, lots of green... good times, and a barely sub-33 minute finish!)
So, goal is a good thing, however I think the number-related goal may be a bit more the IT thing. This past week, despite the cardio effort, did not produce desired weight loss. It produced less-desired weight gain, at some points up to 4 lbs (at least 2 of which came back off, but which puts me still on the wrong side of 160... or to be more positive, a bit more "upscale" than I was hoping).
So here's my goal for the rest of the month, seeing as how we're more than halfway to April Fool's: be solidly in the 150s by the end of March. How solidly will I'm sure be directly impacted by my own self-control, or lack thereof. Mindfulness. It is key to realizing what I put into my body. And combined with awareness of a) how much mr. dooferhoofer rules and b) how much cookie is too much cookie, may lead to success somewhere in the 157 range. Maybe less. I'm good with less, and this still means 5 lbs in the next 2 weeks. Seems doable.
(Also, honey, I loves you and your eternal awesomeness!)
So. there it be. This month is definitely one of growth, though much of that also on a spiritual level, and that's grand. For the coming week, I work at mindfulness, exercise and rest, study of yoga and the economics of foreign currency, writing creative blasts, and not stuffing myself.
I'm thinking of giving up wheat. I've already started phasing out meat over the last couple weeks and feel better for it... and coffee will be going too.
Holy Beard! I think I just saw Peter Grant on the tele. TTFN.
So last week (in writing, not in calendar) was the success of short term goals... very cool, and I set another one for last week. This time it was activity-related: run every day this week. And I did (well once or twice I ellipticized, but there was running, both inside and out), culminating in this morning's St. Patty's Day Dash (3.5 miles through downtown Seattle, post-rain, sun just coming out, very chilly, lots of green... good times, and a barely sub-33 minute finish!)
So, goal is a good thing, however I think the number-related goal may be a bit more the IT thing. This past week, despite the cardio effort, did not produce desired weight loss. It produced less-desired weight gain, at some points up to 4 lbs (at least 2 of which came back off, but which puts me still on the wrong side of 160... or to be more positive, a bit more "upscale" than I was hoping).
So here's my goal for the rest of the month, seeing as how we're more than halfway to April Fool's: be solidly in the 150s by the end of March. How solidly will I'm sure be directly impacted by my own self-control, or lack thereof. Mindfulness. It is key to realizing what I put into my body. And combined with awareness of a) how much mr. dooferhoofer rules and b) how much cookie is too much cookie, may lead to success somewhere in the 157 range. Maybe less. I'm good with less, and this still means 5 lbs in the next 2 weeks. Seems doable.
(Also, honey, I loves you and your eternal awesomeness!)
So. there it be. This month is definitely one of growth, though much of that also on a spiritual level, and that's grand. For the coming week, I work at mindfulness, exercise and rest, study of yoga and the economics of foreign currency, writing creative blasts, and not stuffing myself.
I'm thinking of giving up wheat. I've already started phasing out meat over the last couple weeks and feel better for it... and coffee will be going too.
Holy Beard! I think I just saw Peter Grant on the tele. TTFN.
Friday, March 7, 2008
HooAH!
Fabulous morning! Fabulous day!
Friday morning and I made the weigh-in goal for the week. 1-6-0! Just 25 to go for goal!
And slowly my will is getting stronger. I am able to distract myself from food. Most of the time :)
This morning had a fabulous fresh mango with probiotic vanilla yogurt and a sprinkle of blueberry granola (which I duly dribbled from bowl onto the front of my white shirt in a gesture gone awry), had a handful of wasabi peas and a ginger kombucha for lunch, and a couple Power bars in between.
Then after a cardio session on the elliptical, grilled up some shrimps (mmm shrimps!) and brocollini and rice pilaf (not grilled, just irradiated), and now just kickin it, relaxing, feeling floaty and somewhat meditative.
Looking forward to a weekend of chilling and blissing and blossoming, and a fun week of work and volunteering and tree-planting and st. patty dashing to come! And a new goal I'm sure... I like this deal!
Friday morning and I made the weigh-in goal for the week. 1-6-0! Just 25 to go for goal!
And slowly my will is getting stronger. I am able to distract myself from food. Most of the time :)
This morning had a fabulous fresh mango with probiotic vanilla yogurt and a sprinkle of blueberry granola (which I duly dribbled from bowl onto the front of my white shirt in a gesture gone awry), had a handful of wasabi peas and a ginger kombucha for lunch, and a couple Power bars in between.
Then after a cardio session on the elliptical, grilled up some shrimps (mmm shrimps!) and brocollini and rice pilaf (not grilled, just irradiated), and now just kickin it, relaxing, feeling floaty and somewhat meditative.
Looking forward to a weekend of chilling and blissing and blossoming, and a fun week of work and volunteering and tree-planting and st. patty dashing to come! And a new goal I'm sure... I like this deal!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
I think I dreamed I posted... I didn't
Gah! it has done it to me again. I think it is this... I always highlight everything with a little shift+up arrow action, and somehow that tells blogger to delete everything and autosave the blankness. Blogger and I appear to have some communication issues and I think we need to resolve this now.
Dear Blogger, this may be hard to hear, but I need to tell you how your behavior of late is impacting me. I want us to continue to work together, and I'm prepared to modify my behavior. Let's take a moment to talk about where we're coming from and why we do what we do. I don't think you intend to hurt me, to deny my voice, to erase my words, especially as how these words, any words, give you purpose and meaning. I certainly don't mean to hurt you either, though I'm sure my random button mashing is causing you some kind of grief-slash-short-circuit that's just altogether too much for you to deal with. Let's make this agreement. I'll stop hyper-arrowing around you, and you stop deleting my posts. I know we can make it work.
So last night, lots of sweaty (albeit non-Bikram... i bring my own heat) yoga, running this morning, a dinner of prunes and rice cakes and a breakfast of optimum zen and my last cup of office coffee (not that it's bad coffee, just that I want to explore other beverage options and I don't think java is the bean for me for a while).
This morning I was delighted to see that I'm just 1/2 a pound from my weekly goal! 160.5! It's getting there :) Now to power through what my horoscope (and my intuition beforehand) portends to be a strange and interesting day (quite possibly full of dinosaurs). I am intrigued.
Dear Blogger, this may be hard to hear, but I need to tell you how your behavior of late is impacting me. I want us to continue to work together, and I'm prepared to modify my behavior. Let's take a moment to talk about where we're coming from and why we do what we do. I don't think you intend to hurt me, to deny my voice, to erase my words, especially as how these words, any words, give you purpose and meaning. I certainly don't mean to hurt you either, though I'm sure my random button mashing is causing you some kind of grief-slash-short-circuit that's just altogether too much for you to deal with. Let's make this agreement. I'll stop hyper-arrowing around you, and you stop deleting my posts. I know we can make it work.
So last night, lots of sweaty (albeit non-Bikram... i bring my own heat) yoga, running this morning, a dinner of prunes and rice cakes and a breakfast of optimum zen and my last cup of office coffee (not that it's bad coffee, just that I want to explore other beverage options and I don't think java is the bean for me for a while).
This morning I was delighted to see that I'm just 1/2 a pound from my weekly goal! 160.5! It's getting there :) Now to power through what my horoscope (and my intuition beforehand) portends to be a strange and interesting day (quite possibly full of dinosaurs). I am intrigued.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Damn.
yup, just gone. Autosave lied and was instead my undoing. Now I can really weep and gnash. ARGH.
Well, to sum up, I'm feeling pretty great about a few things from today.
1) I have a goal that's within spitting distance. Goals you can spit on are definitely more reachable than goals you cannot spit on, even if you are a measly spitter. The idea that you can see something and it's within your grasp makes it that much more doable. It's not a big deal. It's like oh yeah whatever 2 pounds blah blah, pass me that screwdriver.
2) Awareness comes sometimes from just packing snacks, knowing caloric content, and trading out as needed to accomodate unexpected snack opportunities (and by snacks I mean everything from morning oatmeal to apples and fig bars to soup for lunch to crackers and yogurt). And no, today didn't introduce all of those things to mouth, but many were key players in staving off the advances of Jelly Beans and EvilCake 2.0, which has continued to lurk about work. Rice cakes to the rescue (and gum, lots of gum).
3) Cardio is fun, albeit largely involves spacing out watching TV while attempting to suffocate myself with my own sweat. I like it. So much that I didn't want to eat dinner afterward, just keep marinating. Alas, I freed myself from the clutches of the fleece hoodie and have been perspiring at a closer-to-human level since. And I had prunes. Mmmm prunes.
Now time for tea and a book (unless I accidentally delete again, in which case I shall inflict some kind of self-torture, like tumbtacks to the thumbnails, or watching Jeff Foxworthy do anything on TV). So far so good...
Well, to sum up, I'm feeling pretty great about a few things from today.
1) I have a goal that's within spitting distance. Goals you can spit on are definitely more reachable than goals you cannot spit on, even if you are a measly spitter. The idea that you can see something and it's within your grasp makes it that much more doable. It's not a big deal. It's like oh yeah whatever 2 pounds blah blah, pass me that screwdriver.
2) Awareness comes sometimes from just packing snacks, knowing caloric content, and trading out as needed to accomodate unexpected snack opportunities (and by snacks I mean everything from morning oatmeal to apples and fig bars to soup for lunch to crackers and yogurt). And no, today didn't introduce all of those things to mouth, but many were key players in staving off the advances of Jelly Beans and EvilCake 2.0, which has continued to lurk about work. Rice cakes to the rescue (and gum, lots of gum).
3) Cardio is fun, albeit largely involves spacing out watching TV while attempting to suffocate myself with my own sweat. I like it. So much that I didn't want to eat dinner afterward, just keep marinating. Alas, I freed myself from the clutches of the fleece hoodie and have been perspiring at a closer-to-human level since. And I had prunes. Mmmm prunes.
Now time for tea and a book (unless I accidentally delete again, in which case I shall inflict some kind of self-torture, like tumbtacks to the thumbnails, or watching Jeff Foxworthy do anything on TV). So far so good...
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